"Spin Home Wisdom" is a word play on home spun wisdom, and also an indication that some of my best ideas have occurred when I was spinning home on a bike ride. Thus the title for the series. I'm going to be writing stories that look at different topics through the eyes of a cyclist. I'll be posting several more on this page during the ride. Hope you enjoy reading them. I sure had fun writing them! Mike
1) “Life from the Back of a Bike”
2) "Why Tandems and Snot Don’t Mix: Honest honey, I Just Forgot You Were Back There!”
Anyone who has cycled very much knows that when one has to blow your nose, you can’t always stop and pull out a tissue. In fact, you would quickly be left behind by real cyclists if you did something so silly! After years of trial and error, cyclists have developed a surefire process that negates the need for tissues. We simply cover one nostril, blow the other one clean and then repeat the process. Works every time! The technical term for this event is “clearing your nasal passages”.
“Biker mist“, as flying snot is euphemistically called, is a reality when riding with a group. Etiquette calls for a quick check back to see if any cars are coming, and if not, then a gradual drifting over to the left side of the road, far away from everyone, before blowing things clear. To misjudge the wind and spray fellow cyclists with mist is fervently unappreciated and incredibly gross for obvious reasons. So, this is how to handle blowing your nose while cycling. Leave the tissues at home, ok?
Now, on to riding a tandem (a bicycle built for two, typically with rider in front steering and pedaling and the rider behind pedaling and reading cue sheets).
About 7 years ago, we borrowed a tandem from a friend in North Platte. I did some riding with my wife, but more so with our daughter, Megan. Riding a tandem requires lots of communication between the Captain (the front person) and the Stoker on back.
Megan and I did a fair amount of training to get ready for a one day event called the KBAR Ride. One Saturday, we drove up to Callaway to practice in some hills as there are none to be found around Grand Island. If you’ve never ridden a tandem, believe me pedaling uphill is like trying to lug a cement truck to the top. However, descending is like riding a rocket!! This was Megan’s first time riding in hills so we had never gone very fast. There is a beautiful, deep valley SW of Callaway. When we came to this valley, my eyes lit up! I had visions of a new record top speed! It was (and still is) 54 mph, which I hit humming down the north side of Fremont Pass south of Copper Mountain, CO. I had a grin from ear to ear as we tipped over the edge into this deep valley. We were nearing 50 mph when Megan suddenly started smacking me on the back and screaming, “Dad, slow down! Are you crazy? You’re going to kill us!” When she finally calmed down (which happened to coincide with our speed dropping under 30 mph) I felt it necessary to explain to her that one of the cardinal rules for safety while riding a tandem was for the stoker NOT to beat up the captain, especially when descending at 50 mph! I agreed to keep it under 45 mph and she agreed to not beat me up anymore.
I kept my promise. However, about 2 weeks later she broke hers. We had driven up to Ainsworth for the KBAR Ride (a beautiful 60 mile ride east from Ainsworth, north toward Springview, east and south to Bassett and west back to Ainsworth). We had screamed down into (less than 45 mph though) and through Bone Creek Canyon by Keller Park St Rec Area, out again, then through the gorgeous Niobrara River Valley. By, the time we headed east and south toward Bassett, it was hot, we were tired, and each of us kind of in our own little world, not really talking, just pedaling along. And that’s when it happened.
We were shooting down into the Niobrara River Valley again, nearing 40 mph, when my nose started to run. And without giving it a second thought I did what I always did, I “cleared my nasal passages”. To this day, I can STILL hear the scream that erupted behind me! And the beating I had sustained two weeks earlier was NOTHING compared to the pummeling I received over the next 30 seconds! Blow after blow rained down upon me accompanied by a host of howls and mostly unintelligible sounds! You talk about one mad girl!! When we stopped at the bottom of the hill, I was horrified both by what I had done, AND by the fact that I couldn’t stop laughing. It appeared that her sunglasses had caught most of it, although pointing out this fact did not seem very prudent.
Seriously, what does a Dad say to his 14 year old daughter at a time like that? I mean, have you ever tried to convince someone that you are deeply sorry for what you did while at the same time wiping tears out of your eyes and trying not to bust out laughing again? “Honest honey, I just forgot you were back there” doesn’t really cut it. And THAT is why tandems and snot do NOT mix!
Spin Home Wisdom # 2
Copyright © 2011, Michael E. Reiners
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3) “But, Just for a Moment There…
8) “When Critters Meet Bikes”
Have you ever been three feet from the business end of a skunk? I have. It was a very exciting 2.4 seconds! Most of the time encountering wildlife while cycling is not nearly so exciting. Sometimes it’s downright unpleasant, because the poor critters are in little pieces on and beside the road and usually smell pretty stale.
On a bike, there are no walls or windows separating you from the animals you’re riding past. That can make for interesting encounters. For example, most birds don’t pay a cyclist any attention. The notable exception is blackbirds. They are VERY territorial in the summer! They do NOT like you in their space, which is about 300 yards on either side of them. They’ll fly above and cuss you out with great fervor, even taking dive bomb runs down on top of you. I’ve had a blackbird actually smack me on top of my helmet! It was a hot, sunny day and since blackbirds have black feathers they’re probably hot all the time. Perhaps that just leaves them angry at the world and cyclists are east targets for their hostility. That’s just a theory though.
I’ve seen bald eagles along the river west of Boelus. THAT was really cool! I’ve always loved hawks and birds of prey. They just have a “don’t mess with me” look about them. I really enjoy the sandhill cranes in the spring! There are a couple of places west of Grand Island where beavers have built dams. Also out west of town there are a lot of wild turkeys. I’ve see groups with over 20 birds, and that is a really neat sight. Of course there is the occasional dear sighting. I just barely missed a dear going about 35 mph on Pizza Hut Road south of Ord once. Actually, it would be pretty cool to hit a deer, as long my bike didn’t get hurt. How many people do YOU know who’ve hit a dear with their bicycle?
Some favorite wildlife encounters out of state include seeing javilinas in West Texas, near the Davis Mountains. Wow, can a herd of wild pigs tear up a landscape rooting for whatever they root for! And I really got a kick out of their cute little grunts. I‘ve seen elk along Trail Ridge Road in Rocky Mountain NP (THAT was a ride!). And I found a mountain goat walking around in the shelter at the top of Mt. Evans, SW of Denver (THAT was quite a ride as well!). One just never knows what you’re going to see out on a ride, which makes it an adventure. One finds wildlife when you least expect it.
And that led to one of my most memorable wildlife moments. Out in the country, it’s a fact of nature that in the springtime, little boy skunks chase little girl skunks. They’re so focused they seldom look before crossing the road. So, little boy skunks lying dead beside the road is a rather common site in the spring. And one usually smells them before seeing them. Well, one day I was riding into the wind, and I smelled a skunk. Scanning ahead, I saw it lying in the dirt about 2 feet off the pavement. No big deal. I didn’t pay it much attention until I was about 6 feet away. That’s when it jumped in the air, spun around 90 degrees and landed facing me! My heart almost stopped beating, and THEN started beating really fast! As I rolled by, I looked down at him and he looked up at me. I don’t know whose eyes were bigger! All I know is that I got past him before he could spin back around, get me in his gun site and let me have it. To this day, I always take an extra long look at “dead skunks” lying beside the road. I firmly believe that a couple seconds can mean the difference between two VERY different endings when black and white critters meet bikes!
Spin Home Wisdom # 8
Copyright © 2011, Michael E. Reiners
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Sometimes I feel like an “old school” cyclist, especially when I ride out in Colorado. So many people ride with IPods or an mp3 player. I’ve never seen statistics on how many cyclists do and don’t listen to music while riding so maybe I‘m not as rare as I feel. I tried it a couple of times, but just didn’t like it. I missed all the other sounds around me: the wind, the leaves, the birds, the cows, the tractors, the rabbit darting in the ditch, the dog barking as I pass, the pickup coming up behind me. Music was a distraction. But, I suspect that’s at least part of the reason why so many listen to it. Me? I grew up on a farm and was outside a lot, so I guess I just like to hear “outside” sounds when I’m outside.
Part of it is a safety thing too. Common sense says stay focused when you’re riding! Getting distracted, or not being able to hear much else just doesn’t seem like a good idea. A brief moment of inattention can quickly become dangerous, or at the very least inconvenient or expensive or embarrassing.
But, I think the biggest reason I don’t listen to anything is that a ride is my time to think and “sort things out” and come up with thoughts and ideas. Some are funny, some kind of profound, others just enjoyable to think through or dream about. It’s also a good time to pray for others, about situations or world events, or simply to thank God for nature and animals and people, for the ability to ride, the bike and road to ride on, etc. Music seems to “short circuit these things in my head“. So, I would much rather ride without hearing anything but the outdoor sounds I know and love.
Bottom line? In this hectic, noisy, cluttered-up world today, most people don’t spend NEARLY enough uninterrupted time just sitting and watching and thinking about life. At least that’s the way I see it from the back of a bike.
Spin Home Wisdom # 1
Copyright © 2011, Michael E. Reiners
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2) "Why Tandems and Snot Don’t Mix: Honest honey, I Just Forgot You Were Back There!”
Anyone who has cycled very much knows that when one has to blow your nose, you can’t always stop and pull out a tissue. In fact, you would quickly be left behind by real cyclists if you did something so silly! After years of trial and error, cyclists have developed a surefire process that negates the need for tissues. We simply cover one nostril, blow the other one clean and then repeat the process. Works every time! The technical term for this event is “clearing your nasal passages”.
“Biker mist“, as flying snot is euphemistically called, is a reality when riding with a group. Etiquette calls for a quick check back to see if any cars are coming, and if not, then a gradual drifting over to the left side of the road, far away from everyone, before blowing things clear. To misjudge the wind and spray fellow cyclists with mist is fervently unappreciated and incredibly gross for obvious reasons. So, this is how to handle blowing your nose while cycling. Leave the tissues at home, ok?
Now, on to riding a tandem (a bicycle built for two, typically with rider in front steering and pedaling and the rider behind pedaling and reading cue sheets).
About 7 years ago, we borrowed a tandem from a friend in North Platte. I did some riding with my wife, but more so with our daughter, Megan. Riding a tandem requires lots of communication between the Captain (the front person) and the Stoker on back.
Megan and I did a fair amount of training to get ready for a one day event called the KBAR Ride. One Saturday, we drove up to Callaway to practice in some hills as there are none to be found around Grand Island. If you’ve never ridden a tandem, believe me pedaling uphill is like trying to lug a cement truck to the top. However, descending is like riding a rocket!! This was Megan’s first time riding in hills so we had never gone very fast. There is a beautiful, deep valley SW of Callaway. When we came to this valley, my eyes lit up! I had visions of a new record top speed! It was (and still is) 54 mph, which I hit humming down the north side of Fremont Pass south of Copper Mountain, CO. I had a grin from ear to ear as we tipped over the edge into this deep valley. We were nearing 50 mph when Megan suddenly started smacking me on the back and screaming, “Dad, slow down! Are you crazy? You’re going to kill us!” When she finally calmed down (which happened to coincide with our speed dropping under 30 mph) I felt it necessary to explain to her that one of the cardinal rules for safety while riding a tandem was for the stoker NOT to beat up the captain, especially when descending at 50 mph! I agreed to keep it under 45 mph and she agreed to not beat me up anymore.
I kept my promise. However, about 2 weeks later she broke hers. We had driven up to Ainsworth for the KBAR Ride (a beautiful 60 mile ride east from Ainsworth, north toward Springview, east and south to Bassett and west back to Ainsworth). We had screamed down into (less than 45 mph though) and through Bone Creek Canyon by Keller Park St Rec Area, out again, then through the gorgeous Niobrara River Valley. By, the time we headed east and south toward Bassett, it was hot, we were tired, and each of us kind of in our own little world, not really talking, just pedaling along. And that’s when it happened.
We were shooting down into the Niobrara River Valley again, nearing 40 mph, when my nose started to run. And without giving it a second thought I did what I always did, I “cleared my nasal passages”. To this day, I can STILL hear the scream that erupted behind me! And the beating I had sustained two weeks earlier was NOTHING compared to the pummeling I received over the next 30 seconds! Blow after blow rained down upon me accompanied by a host of howls and mostly unintelligible sounds! You talk about one mad girl!! When we stopped at the bottom of the hill, I was horrified both by what I had done, AND by the fact that I couldn’t stop laughing. It appeared that her sunglasses had caught most of it, although pointing out this fact did not seem very prudent.
Seriously, what does a Dad say to his 14 year old daughter at a time like that? I mean, have you ever tried to convince someone that you are deeply sorry for what you did while at the same time wiping tears out of your eyes and trying not to bust out laughing again? “Honest honey, I just forgot you were back there” doesn’t really cut it. And THAT is why tandems and snot do NOT mix!
Spin Home Wisdom # 2
Copyright © 2011, Michael E. Reiners
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In 1991, I started keeping track of all the roads I’ve cycled in Nebraska
Since I’ve cycled basically every paved road within 50+ miles, to find new ones I have to toss my bike in the back seat and drive for at least an hour. (An aside: I’m a firm believer in driving old cars. My criteria for buying a car is 4-fold: it has to be at least 10 years old, the body and engine have to be in good shape, it has to be cheap enough that I can pay cash for it, and my bike has to fit in the back seat. If it meets these four standards, I’m interested. Currently I drive a 1989 Olds 88 Royale with 151,000 miles. We bought it from my mother-in-law 9 years ago. They say one of the signs of a “true cyclist” is when your bike is worth considerably more than your car. Well, that’s me!)
Back to the story. Friday is my day off, so sometimes, I’ll pack my bike and gear, drive to another town, and go on a ride. And it was on one of these trips about 6 years ago that I suffered a massive “Pride goeth before the fall” face plant, the kind of experience that could easily scar the psyche of a male who takes himself too seriously. Fortunately I don’t.
It happened at the Bosselman convenience store in the NW part of Ord. I had parked there and ridden the blacktop west of town out past where they used to have the Comstock Music Festival. Beautiful scenery and a wonderfully warm and sunny day. So, I was in high spirits when I returned and put my bike in the back and my gear in the trunk.
As I was heading past the pumps to the street, I noticed a rather fetching young lady putting gas in her car. Nothing out of the ordinary … until she looked me directly in the eyes and gave me a warm, wonderful smile! I’m telling you my heart almost stopped! And I quickly thought to myself, “Whoa! She can NOT be impressed by my 16 year old car. Why … the only thing that leaves is … ME! Hot diggety dog! Twice her age and she STILL thinks I look MIGHTY fine!”
Well, as I turn onto the street, my heart is singing! My chest is puffed out. I’m sitting tall in the saddle, on top of the world and warm all over … until I glanced in my rear view mirror. That's when to my DEEP distress I realized that this attractive young lass was NOT smiling sweetly at a handsome hunk. She was grinning grandly at a dorky dweeb driving down the street with his trunk standing wide open! NOW I understood … but … AHHH, just for a moment there…!
Spin Home Wisdom # 3
Copyright © 2011, Michael E. Reiners
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4) "The Skinny on Fat Bike Seats"
I am a firm believer in toilet paper. We keep plenty in our house and I think you should too. Anyone who has backpacked far from civilization knows why hikers call it “mountain money”. It becomes a valuable commodity under the right circumstances.
I always carry some toilet paper with me when I go cycling. Why? Because on a ride about 7 years ago in the hills north of Roscoe, I didn’t. On that fateful day I would’ve paid $20 for half a roll of mountain money! Now I keep a wad of it in a small camera case along with my cell phone and billfold. And this leads to a funny story I’d like to share with you.
At the church I serve, we have a preschool with about 155 students. Preschool kids are just a hoot! It’s always a busy place on the north end of our building. One event the kids look forward to every spring is Bicycle Safety Day. They bring their bikes, and the teachers set up a riding course, complete with little signs, etc in the parking lot to help them learn safe riding skills. It’s pretty cool. Knowing my love for cycling, the teachers have also asked me to share some safety tips with the kids.
I cover four things with them. First, I give them some direction on what to do if a dog runs out and barks at them. Second, I explain why it is SO important to stop and look both ways before ever crossing a street. And fourth (I‘ll come back to third in a moment), I show them why it is so vital for them to wear a helmet. I always do this part last as I use a demonstration that is quite dramatic. More details in the Spin Home Wisdom story #6 entitled, "Bike Helmets, Cantaloupes and Preschoolers.
Well, back to the third thing I talk about. At this point I show them the contents of my camera case. I ask, “Who knows why I always carry my cell phone and billfold?” They DO love to answer questions! I explain that while THEY don’t need a phone and billfold yet, I DO because I go way out into the country and these two things help keep me safe. Well, last spring, after I had showed the kids my phone and billfold, on the spur of the moment I also pulled out the wad of toilet paper and said, “Oh, and I always carry toilet paper, because you just never know!” I meant it as a joke for the teachers, who did laugh (thankfully). But, in the crowd that day there was a young man named Mitchell Koozer who took my admonition to heart!
Ah, to have such a profound influence on the next generation. Because of my words of wisdom, now apparently young Mitchell is ALSO a firm believer in toilet paper.
6) “Bike Helmets, Cantaloupes and Preschoolers”
Even when I am completely clothed, I feel naked if I ride without my helmet. I mean, why would you ever play a baseball game without using a glove? Why would you ever go golfing without taking your clubs? How could you play a football game without a football? Well, in the same way, how can you go cycling without a helmet? Ok, obviously one CAN cycle without wearing a helmet, but why would you? To me it makes no sense.
Here are some facts regarding children and the use of bike helmets:
“A quick check of Young cyclists are more likely than adult cyclists to die of head injuries, most of which are caused by motor vehicle collisions. Among children and youth age 0 to 19:
Head injuries accounted for 62.6 percent of bicycle fatalities.
Collisions with motor vehicles accounted for 75.7 percent of bicycle fatalities.
61.7 percent of motor vehicle collision deaths were due to head injury.”
(Statistics from the Children’s Safety Network)
Bicycle Helmet Effectiveness
Bicycle helmets have been shown to reduce the risk of head injury by as much as 85 percent and the risk of brain injury by as much as 88 percent.Bicycle helmets have also been shown to offer substantial protection to the forehead and midface.
It is estimated that 75 percent of bicycle-related fatalities among children could be prevented with a bicycle helmet.
Universal use of bicycle helmets by children ages 4 to 15 could prevent between 135 and 155 deaths, between 39,000 and 45,000 head injuries, and between 18,000 and 55,000 scalp and face injuries annually.
(Statistics from Safe Kids USA)
As I mentioned in yesterday’s Spin Home Wisdom, I have a demonstration for our Preschoolers on Bike Safety Day that makes quite an impression on them. I bring several cantaloupes and a child’s bike helmet from home. I take a sharpie and draw faces on the cantaloupes, smiley faces on some and and frowny faces on the others. In the presentation, I have a child come up so I can hold it right next to his/her head. They quickly get the point. Next, I explain how a helmet is made to protect them if they crash and hit their head. Then I strap a Mr. Smiley face Cantaloupe Head in the helmet and drop him from about 6 feet. It makes a terrific pop, but in nearly every case Mr. Smiley face Cantaloupe Head comes through completely unscathed. It’s actually pretty amazing. Then I set the helmet aside and pick up a Mr. Frowny face Cantaloupe. And now the excitement level jumps because they see where this is going!
I explain that Mr. Frowny face Cantaloupe Head is sad because he’s not wearing a helmet to protect him. Then I dramatically raise it about six feet high, pause for a moment, and then lower him. “What do you think is going to happen when he hit’s the floor? Really? You think so? Ok, let’s see.” I slowly raise it up, pause for effect, then pull it back down and ask, “Are you sure? How do you know his brains are going to splatter all over the place?” Eventually, I pull a pair of eye protection glasses and ear protection ear muffs out of a sack and put them on. By now some of the front kids are starting to look concerned and putting their hands over their ears.
When I finally raise the cantaloupe and tell them, “Ok, I AM dropping it this time”, all the kids are leaning forward with really big eyes, except the few in the front, nearest to the point of impact. They’re leaning backwards with really big eyes! Pause. Release. PLOP! And as one the entire group jumps to their feet, takes a step forward and stands on their tip toes, heads moving around searching for the best possible view of the carnage! It is SO funny! (To be honest, I make a small cut in the back of the cantaloupe to make sure it will split open. It is not nearly as effective if it doesn‘t!)
So, the cantaloupe splits to where we can “look in and see its brain“. I ask them, “What if that was your head. Would that be a good thing? Do you see why it’s important to always, always, always wear your helmet?” Then I end up by shaking my head "no" and saying, “You probably don’t want to see it dropped again do you? “ Pfff! Of course they do! The second smack usually ejects seeds and goo all over, which they think is just about the coolest thing ever. It’s a lot of fun. Try it sometime if you work with preschoolers. It certainly helps them see why it’s a good idea to wear a helmet.
Please love your children and grandchildren enough to make sure they ride with a helmet. And love them enough to wear one yourself, both when you ride with them and when you‘re out alone! It’s the smart thing and the loving thing to do. Thanks
Spin Home Wisdom # 6
Copyright © 2011, Michael E. Reiners
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7) "I Choose to Clip, and Try Not to Tip"
When I was a kid, there was no such thing as clipless shoes and pedals. Well, maybe there was in France or Germany, but not on my folk’s farm in SW Nebraska. If one has never used clipless shoes and pedals, I can understand your skepticism. I was the same way once. Not anymore.
Cycling shoes and clipless pedals are a must for several reasons. First, shoes with very hard soles are more efficient. The downward part of your stroke (typically the most powerful part) becomes more energy efficient. If you ride in tennis shoes, every time you press down your sole "squishes" and costs you some energy. Not much, but if you crank out 20,000 revs on a ride, it definitely adds up.
Plus, clipless shoes and pedals let you get energy out of your entire revolution. You can literally pedal "in a circle" (push down, pull back, pull up and push over the top). Power applied to all parts of your stroke means a smoother, faster ride. Pedals with toe clips or straps provide some of this effect, but they really are dangerous in my opinion. Having used foot straps in the past, I was hard pressed to pull my shoes out quickly if I needed to put a foot down.
Clipless shoes and pedals are a bit expensive. And there IS a learning curve, but once you’ve mastered it and everything is properly adjusted, clipping in and out is effortless. You don’t even think about it, and in my opinion it‘s the only way to cycle. Clipless pedals are more efficient and safer as there no chance of your foot slipping off or getting stuck.
Well, ALMOST no chance of your foot getting stuck. I think every one with clipless pedals also has one (or more) "I went plop" stories to tell. We’ve all fallen over at a stop sign or a traffic light. It happens when you least expect it (obviously, otherwise it wouldn’t happen right?). It is a really helpless feeling when you start over and can’t get your foot out. And MAN does it hurt! It’s a fact that cyclists have a greater chance of more serious injuries from low speed crashes then high speed. It’s counterintuitive, but simply put, the slower you’re going when you crash, the harder you hit the deck. And more force equals more internal trauma (ruptured organs, broken bones, etc). In a higher speed crash, you tend to "slide" more than "plop". Not particularly pleasant, but skin grows back more quickly than bones heal.
So, if you buy and try clipless pedals and shoes, just accept the fact that sometime, somewhere when you least expect it, you will go "plop". When it happens, all you can do is pop up as nonchalantly as possible, gather what little dignity you have left, and pretend like nothing happened. Yet, having been there, just accept that fact that all around you are people crouched behind their steering wheels snickering at your misfortune.
Spin Home Wisdom # 7
Copyright © 2011, Michael E. Reiners
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Spin Home Wisdom # 3
Copyright © 2011, Michael E. Reiners
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4) "The Skinny on Fat Bike Seats"
Even though they look more comfortable, big fat gel seats are bad for your behind, period. I realize that most non-cyclists will look at a big, fat gel seat and a skinny, little firm seat and pick the fat one every time. If you’re only going a few miles, ok. More than a few miles, wrong choice. Here’s why.
The little narrow seats are made to support your weight on two points of contact called your sit bones. Sit bones are the bony part that you feel under you when you sit up straight on a firm surface. They are part of the pelvic girdle and technically known as the Ischial Tuberosity. Poke around down below and find them with your fingers. Go ahead. Don’t be bashful. It IS your behind you know. Now, on skinny, little firm seats, all of your weight is resting on your sit bones. And that’s good because there is a big blood vessel that runs through your pelvic area between your legs. And one does NOT want to put pressure on this vessel. That’s what happens when one sits on a big fat gel seat.
Just think about it. When you sit on a big fat gel seat, naturally your sit bones dive way down into the seat. Oh that feels SO comfortable. But, as your sit bones dig in, the seat squishes out on all sides of the sit bones, including pressing up into the space between your legs. So, you end up with this “delicate” part of your body forced to sit on a hard seat, and if you go very many miles, certain parts of your nether region will get numb due to lack of blood flow. Now, common sense says this can not be a good thing, especially for guys. Much ink has been spilled about whether or not professional cyclists suffer a higher incidence of E.D. One thing IS certain though. You will not see any big fat gel seats on bikes in the Tour de France!
Look again at the skinny, little firm seat. Not only it is designed to support your sit bones, but most of them also have a “split” toward the back and the center part “hollowed out” just a bit. This is to give the prostate gland a bit more room, which is also a good thing for us guys.
So, there you have it, the skinny on fat bike seats. If you are anything more than a recreational around-the-block-and-down-the-street-a-ways cyclist, then I urge you to talk with the folks at your LBS (Local Bike Shop). Ask them for their input on which seat will best meet your cycling needs.
Spin Home Wisdom # 4
Copyright © 2011, Michael E. Reiners
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5) “You Just Never Know: Thoughts on Toilet Paper and Cycling”
I am a firm believer in toilet paper. We keep plenty in our house and I think you should too. Anyone who has backpacked far from civilization knows why hikers call it “mountain money”. It becomes a valuable commodity under the right circumstances.
I always carry some toilet paper with me when I go cycling. Why? Because on a ride about 7 years ago in the hills north of Roscoe, I didn’t. On that fateful day I would’ve paid $20 for half a roll of mountain money! Now I keep a wad of it in a small camera case along with my cell phone and billfold. And this leads to a funny story I’d like to share with you.
At the church I serve, we have a preschool with about 155 students. Preschool kids are just a hoot! It’s always a busy place on the north end of our building. One event the kids look forward to every spring is Bicycle Safety Day. They bring their bikes, and the teachers set up a riding course, complete with little signs, etc in the parking lot to help them learn safe riding skills. It’s pretty cool. Knowing my love for cycling, the teachers have also asked me to share some safety tips with the kids.
I cover four things with them. First, I give them some direction on what to do if a dog runs out and barks at them. Second, I explain why it is SO important to stop and look both ways before ever crossing a street. And fourth (I‘ll come back to third in a moment), I show them why it is so vital for them to wear a helmet. I always do this part last as I use a demonstration that is quite dramatic. More details in the Spin Home Wisdom story #6 entitled, "Bike Helmets, Cantaloupes and Preschoolers.
Well, back to the third thing I talk about. At this point I show them the contents of my camera case. I ask, “Who knows why I always carry my cell phone and billfold?” They DO love to answer questions! I explain that while THEY don’t need a phone and billfold yet, I DO because I go way out into the country and these two things help keep me safe. Well, last spring, after I had showed the kids my phone and billfold, on the spur of the moment I also pulled out the wad of toilet paper and said, “Oh, and I always carry toilet paper, because you just never know!” I meant it as a joke for the teachers, who did laugh (thankfully). But, in the crowd that day there was a young man named Mitchell Koozer who took my admonition to heart!
His mom was laughing when she caught up with me a couple of Sundays later. “I don’t know what all you told them about bike safety, but there was one thing Mitchell couldn’t stop talking about. “Pastor always carries toilet paper on his bike rides!” She said that now whenever they go on bike rides, Mitchell insists that all family members (Mom, Dad and his two younger brothers) carry some toilet paper along with them. When his Mom explained that they weren’t really going very far and probably wouldn‘t need it, Mitchell, with infinite patience and deep sincerity, re-explained to her that “Pastor Reiners always takes it on his rides, because Mom, he said you just NEVER KNOW!”
Ah, to have such a profound influence on the next generation. Because of my words of wisdom, now apparently young Mitchell is ALSO a firm believer in toilet paper.
Spin Home Wisdom # 5
Copyright © 2011, Michael E. Reiners
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Even when I am completely clothed, I feel naked if I ride without my helmet. I mean, why would you ever play a baseball game without using a glove? Why would you ever go golfing without taking your clubs? How could you play a football game without a football? Well, in the same way, how can you go cycling without a helmet? Ok, obviously one CAN cycle without wearing a helmet, but why would you? To me it makes no sense.
Here are some facts regarding children and the use of bike helmets:
“A quick check of Young cyclists are more likely than adult cyclists to die of head injuries, most of which are caused by motor vehicle collisions. Among children and youth age 0 to 19:
Head injuries accounted for 62.6 percent of bicycle fatalities.
Collisions with motor vehicles accounted for 75.7 percent of bicycle fatalities.
61.7 percent of motor vehicle collision deaths were due to head injury.”
(Statistics from the Children’s Safety Network)
Bicycle Helmet Effectiveness
Bicycle helmets have been shown to reduce the risk of head injury by as much as 85 percent and the risk of brain injury by as much as 88 percent.Bicycle helmets have also been shown to offer substantial protection to the forehead and midface.
It is estimated that 75 percent of bicycle-related fatalities among children could be prevented with a bicycle helmet.
Universal use of bicycle helmets by children ages 4 to 15 could prevent between 135 and 155 deaths, between 39,000 and 45,000 head injuries, and between 18,000 and 55,000 scalp and face injuries annually.
(Statistics from Safe Kids USA)
As I mentioned in yesterday’s Spin Home Wisdom, I have a demonstration for our Preschoolers on Bike Safety Day that makes quite an impression on them. I bring several cantaloupes and a child’s bike helmet from home. I take a sharpie and draw faces on the cantaloupes, smiley faces on some and and frowny faces on the others. In the presentation, I have a child come up so I can hold it right next to his/her head. They quickly get the point. Next, I explain how a helmet is made to protect them if they crash and hit their head. Then I strap a Mr. Smiley face Cantaloupe Head in the helmet and drop him from about 6 feet. It makes a terrific pop, but in nearly every case Mr. Smiley face Cantaloupe Head comes through completely unscathed. It’s actually pretty amazing. Then I set the helmet aside and pick up a Mr. Frowny face Cantaloupe. And now the excitement level jumps because they see where this is going!
I explain that Mr. Frowny face Cantaloupe Head is sad because he’s not wearing a helmet to protect him. Then I dramatically raise it about six feet high, pause for a moment, and then lower him. “What do you think is going to happen when he hit’s the floor? Really? You think so? Ok, let’s see.” I slowly raise it up, pause for effect, then pull it back down and ask, “Are you sure? How do you know his brains are going to splatter all over the place?” Eventually, I pull a pair of eye protection glasses and ear protection ear muffs out of a sack and put them on. By now some of the front kids are starting to look concerned and putting their hands over their ears.
When I finally raise the cantaloupe and tell them, “Ok, I AM dropping it this time”, all the kids are leaning forward with really big eyes, except the few in the front, nearest to the point of impact. They’re leaning backwards with really big eyes! Pause. Release. PLOP! And as one the entire group jumps to their feet, takes a step forward and stands on their tip toes, heads moving around searching for the best possible view of the carnage! It is SO funny! (To be honest, I make a small cut in the back of the cantaloupe to make sure it will split open. It is not nearly as effective if it doesn‘t!)
So, the cantaloupe splits to where we can “look in and see its brain“. I ask them, “What if that was your head. Would that be a good thing? Do you see why it’s important to always, always, always wear your helmet?” Then I end up by shaking my head "no" and saying, “You probably don’t want to see it dropped again do you? “ Pfff! Of course they do! The second smack usually ejects seeds and goo all over, which they think is just about the coolest thing ever. It’s a lot of fun. Try it sometime if you work with preschoolers. It certainly helps them see why it’s a good idea to wear a helmet.
Please love your children and grandchildren enough to make sure they ride with a helmet. And love them enough to wear one yourself, both when you ride with them and when you‘re out alone! It’s the smart thing and the loving thing to do. Thanks
Spin Home Wisdom # 6
Copyright © 2011, Michael E. Reiners
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7) "I Choose to Clip, and Try Not to Tip"
When I was a kid, there was no such thing as clipless shoes and pedals. Well, maybe there was in France or Germany, but not on my folk’s farm in SW Nebraska. If one has never used clipless shoes and pedals, I can understand your skepticism. I was the same way once. Not anymore.
Cycling shoes and clipless pedals are a must for several reasons. First, shoes with very hard soles are more efficient. The downward part of your stroke (typically the most powerful part) becomes more energy efficient. If you ride in tennis shoes, every time you press down your sole "squishes" and costs you some energy. Not much, but if you crank out 20,000 revs on a ride, it definitely adds up.
Plus, clipless shoes and pedals let you get energy out of your entire revolution. You can literally pedal "in a circle" (push down, pull back, pull up and push over the top). Power applied to all parts of your stroke means a smoother, faster ride. Pedals with toe clips or straps provide some of this effect, but they really are dangerous in my opinion. Having used foot straps in the past, I was hard pressed to pull my shoes out quickly if I needed to put a foot down.
Clipless shoes and pedals are a bit expensive. And there IS a learning curve, but once you’ve mastered it and everything is properly adjusted, clipping in and out is effortless. You don’t even think about it, and in my opinion it‘s the only way to cycle. Clipless pedals are more efficient and safer as there no chance of your foot slipping off or getting stuck.
Well, ALMOST no chance of your foot getting stuck. I think every one with clipless pedals also has one (or more) "I went plop" stories to tell. We’ve all fallen over at a stop sign or a traffic light. It happens when you least expect it (obviously, otherwise it wouldn’t happen right?). It is a really helpless feeling when you start over and can’t get your foot out. And MAN does it hurt! It’s a fact that cyclists have a greater chance of more serious injuries from low speed crashes then high speed. It’s counterintuitive, but simply put, the slower you’re going when you crash, the harder you hit the deck. And more force equals more internal trauma (ruptured organs, broken bones, etc). In a higher speed crash, you tend to "slide" more than "plop". Not particularly pleasant, but skin grows back more quickly than bones heal.
So, if you buy and try clipless pedals and shoes, just accept the fact that sometime, somewhere when you least expect it, you will go "plop". When it happens, all you can do is pop up as nonchalantly as possible, gather what little dignity you have left, and pretend like nothing happened. Yet, having been there, just accept that fact that all around you are people crouched behind their steering wheels snickering at your misfortune.
Spin Home Wisdom # 7
Copyright © 2011, Michael E. Reiners
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8) “When Critters Meet Bikes”
Have you ever been three feet from the business end of a skunk? I have. It was a very exciting 2.4 seconds! Most of the time encountering wildlife while cycling is not nearly so exciting. Sometimes it’s downright unpleasant, because the poor critters are in little pieces on and beside the road and usually smell pretty stale.
On a bike, there are no walls or windows separating you from the animals you’re riding past. That can make for interesting encounters. For example, most birds don’t pay a cyclist any attention. The notable exception is blackbirds. They are VERY territorial in the summer! They do NOT like you in their space, which is about 300 yards on either side of them. They’ll fly above and cuss you out with great fervor, even taking dive bomb runs down on top of you. I’ve had a blackbird actually smack me on top of my helmet! It was a hot, sunny day and since blackbirds have black feathers they’re probably hot all the time. Perhaps that just leaves them angry at the world and cyclists are east targets for their hostility. That’s just a theory though.
I’ve seen bald eagles along the river west of Boelus. THAT was really cool! I’ve always loved hawks and birds of prey. They just have a “don’t mess with me” look about them. I really enjoy the sandhill cranes in the spring! There are a couple of places west of Grand Island where beavers have built dams. Also out west of town there are a lot of wild turkeys. I’ve see groups with over 20 birds, and that is a really neat sight. Of course there is the occasional dear sighting. I just barely missed a dear going about 35 mph on Pizza Hut Road south of Ord once. Actually, it would be pretty cool to hit a deer, as long my bike didn’t get hurt. How many people do YOU know who’ve hit a dear with their bicycle?
Some favorite wildlife encounters out of state include seeing javilinas in West Texas, near the Davis Mountains. Wow, can a herd of wild pigs tear up a landscape rooting for whatever they root for! And I really got a kick out of their cute little grunts. I‘ve seen elk along Trail Ridge Road in Rocky Mountain NP (THAT was a ride!). And I found a mountain goat walking around in the shelter at the top of Mt. Evans, SW of Denver (THAT was quite a ride as well!). One just never knows what you’re going to see out on a ride, which makes it an adventure. One finds wildlife when you least expect it.
And that led to one of my most memorable wildlife moments. Out in the country, it’s a fact of nature that in the springtime, little boy skunks chase little girl skunks. They’re so focused they seldom look before crossing the road. So, little boy skunks lying dead beside the road is a rather common site in the spring. And one usually smells them before seeing them. Well, one day I was riding into the wind, and I smelled a skunk. Scanning ahead, I saw it lying in the dirt about 2 feet off the pavement. No big deal. I didn’t pay it much attention until I was about 6 feet away. That’s when it jumped in the air, spun around 90 degrees and landed facing me! My heart almost stopped beating, and THEN started beating really fast! As I rolled by, I looked down at him and he looked up at me. I don’t know whose eyes were bigger! All I know is that I got past him before he could spin back around, get me in his gun site and let me have it. To this day, I always take an extra long look at “dead skunks” lying beside the road. I firmly believe that a couple seconds can mean the difference between two VERY different endings when black and white critters meet bikes!
Spin Home Wisdom # 8
Copyright © 2011, Michael E. Reiners
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9) “Don’t just ride into the wind. Tear the wind apart!” (From a Lance Armstrong Commercial. All I can say is, “Yeah…right!”)
Raise your hand if you enjoy riding into a headwind. Ok, for all whose with hands in the air, I want you to know that there is therapy available to help you. Some people claim that wind is their “training partner”, especially if there are no hills nearby as is the case where I live. It’s a very sad situation when the closest hill is the overpass crossing I-80 six miles south of town! So, I should be thankful for the wind that is always blowing in Nebraska, right? I know it can to help me train for mountain passes in CO. But, I simply can NOT ride into a stiff headwind and convince myself I‘m climbing Cottonwood Pass! And we get so much wind in Nebraska that’s helpful to be able to categorize its intensity when explaining your misery to a fellow cyclist.
When it comes to wind strength, I see five levels of intensity: Level 1 - Nothing; Level 2 - Noticeable; Level 3 - Nuisance; Level 4 – Nasty; Level 5 - “NO WAY! You have GOT to be kidding me“!
Now, if we’ve had a number of wind level 4 and 5 days in a row, sometimes people at church ask me if I’ve been out riding. They assume that since they don’t ride on windy days neither do I. Well, the wind doesn’t keep me home unless it’s a Level 5. With wide eyes and almost reverent respect, they ask me how I can stand to ride when it’s windy. I explain that I deal with it in two ways. First, I always ride into the wind right away to get the misery over. That makes coming home a lot of fun (assuming the wind doesn’t change directions or intensity of course).
The second way I deal with wind is to simply pedal at a speed which uses the same amount of work/energy that I typically use on a ride. This is key! In other words, I don’t work any harder than I would on a calm day. I just keep cranking at a comfortable pace and however fast I go, that’s how fast I go, period. I train more for long distances (slow and steady) rather than short, fast races. So, I figure there’s no use pushing into the red zone to go 1 or 2 mph faster. Some guys seem to enjoy going a lot further into the “pain cave” than I do!
However on group rides, it’s a different story. Now, I‘m willing to give it my all! Believe me, when ego and pride are on the line, I will dig DEEP, and push HARD! Even when every muscle I own is burning and begging for me to relent, I do not let up. I will do absolutely everything I can possibly do to hang on … to the back of the pack … where it‘s not nearly so windy.
Spin Home Wisdom # 9
Copyright © 2011, Michael E. Reiners
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10) “Caution - Cujo Wannabe Ahead!” – Part 1
One thing that cyclists quickly get used to dealing with is dogs. They definitely add a certain “zest” to riding out in the country. When a Cujo Wannabe (CW) comes bursting out of the trees right next to you, one has several options. Instinct will tell you to pedal like your life depends on it (which is a distinct possibility!). But, chances are you’re not going to outrun a CW who got the jump on you, and seeing his prey try to escape just lights his fire! (Of course, if you’re on a group ride, sprinting IS often a viable option. All you have to do is outsprint at least one person who then becomes an unhappy “doggie treat”.) If you’re a skilled rider looking for some excitement, you could let CW close in and then squirt him in the face with your water bottle. It might work. It usually doesn’t.
Then I tell them that sometimes the dog STILL keeps coming after me. If that’s the case, I quickly stop, get off my bike and keep it between me and the dog. After promising not to scare (again) the preschooler playing “the dog”, I ask him/her to charge and try to “bite me”. All I do is keep my bike between us. No matter which way he tries to go around the bike, he can never reach me. The kids can easily see how to use their bike for protection. Plus, most CW’s quickly lose interest in the chase when there’s nothing to chase. Then you just slowly push your bike for a ways before getting on and riding off.
One key skill that cyclists develop is the ability to assess whether or not a CW poses a threat. After years of riding, I can do this in a flash after hearing one bark or getting one glance. This is done by instinct, but after thinking about it, I realized that I use three categories to assess a CW: sound, speed and attitude. And that is the topic of Part 2 of “Caution – Cujo Wannabe Ahead!”
Spin Home Wisdom # 10Copyright © 2011, Michael E. Reiners
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12) “Motorcycles, and the Finger that Pointed East”
What picture do you see when you hear the word “biker”? Yup, that’s what most people see: someone straddling a motorcycle. That’s why I’m always careful to refer to myself as a cyclist. If I say, “I’m a biker” to someone who doesn’t know me, they immediately picture me on a Harley. And believe me; what I wear when I’m out riding would NOT look good on someone riding a Harley. In fact, you’d probably get beat up at the first Truck-stop you pulled into. Having said that, guys (and gals) on motorcycles are actually pretty friendly toward guys (and, I suppose, gals) on bicycles.
Raise your hand if you enjoy riding into a headwind. Ok, for all whose with hands in the air, I want you to know that there is therapy available to help you. Some people claim that wind is their “training partner”, especially if there are no hills nearby as is the case where I live. It’s a very sad situation when the closest hill is the overpass crossing I-80 six miles south of town! So, I should be thankful for the wind that is always blowing in Nebraska, right? I know it can to help me train for mountain passes in CO. But, I simply can NOT ride into a stiff headwind and convince myself I‘m climbing Cottonwood Pass! And we get so much wind in Nebraska that’s helpful to be able to categorize its intensity when explaining your misery to a fellow cyclist.
When it comes to wind strength, I see five levels of intensity: Level 1 - Nothing; Level 2 - Noticeable; Level 3 - Nuisance; Level 4 – Nasty; Level 5 - “NO WAY! You have GOT to be kidding me“!
Now, if we’ve had a number of wind level 4 and 5 days in a row, sometimes people at church ask me if I’ve been out riding. They assume that since they don’t ride on windy days neither do I. Well, the wind doesn’t keep me home unless it’s a Level 5. With wide eyes and almost reverent respect, they ask me how I can stand to ride when it’s windy. I explain that I deal with it in two ways. First, I always ride into the wind right away to get the misery over. That makes coming home a lot of fun (assuming the wind doesn’t change directions or intensity of course).
The second way I deal with wind is to simply pedal at a speed which uses the same amount of work/energy that I typically use on a ride. This is key! In other words, I don’t work any harder than I would on a calm day. I just keep cranking at a comfortable pace and however fast I go, that’s how fast I go, period. I train more for long distances (slow and steady) rather than short, fast races. So, I figure there’s no use pushing into the red zone to go 1 or 2 mph faster. Some guys seem to enjoy going a lot further into the “pain cave” than I do!
However on group rides, it’s a different story. Now, I‘m willing to give it my all! Believe me, when ego and pride are on the line, I will dig DEEP, and push HARD! Even when every muscle I own is burning and begging for me to relent, I do not let up. I will do absolutely everything I can possibly do to hang on … to the back of the pack … where it‘s not nearly so windy.
Spin Home Wisdom # 9
Copyright © 2011, Michael E. Reiners
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10) “Caution - Cujo Wannabe Ahead!” – Part 1
One thing that cyclists quickly get used to dealing with is dogs. They definitely add a certain “zest” to riding out in the country. When a Cujo Wannabe (CW) comes bursting out of the trees right next to you, one has several options. Instinct will tell you to pedal like your life depends on it (which is a distinct possibility!). But, chances are you’re not going to outrun a CW who got the jump on you, and seeing his prey try to escape just lights his fire! (Of course, if you’re on a group ride, sprinting IS often a viable option. All you have to do is outsprint at least one person who then becomes an unhappy “doggie treat”.) If you’re a skilled rider looking for some excitement, you could let CW close in and then squirt him in the face with your water bottle. It might work. It usually doesn’t.
Here’s what I tell the preschoolers at Bike Safety Day. I ask for a volunteer to be a dog who threatens me as I’m riding my bike. (It’s hard to keep a straight face when a preschooler charges on hands and knees “barking” with great gusto.) I borrow one of their bikes and pretend I’m riding it. When “the dog” charges me I suddenly point my finger at it and yell “NO!” really loud. It usually startles “the dog”. (I almost made one little boy start crying one day. While it proved my point I still felt kindof bad.) I then explain to them that most dogs know what “NO” means, and if you yell it really loud, it can scare some of them into breaking off the chase and turning around. So, I have the preschoolers practice pointing and yelling “NO” real loud a few times (which delights them greatly).
Then I tell them that sometimes the dog STILL keeps coming after me. If that’s the case, I quickly stop, get off my bike and keep it between me and the dog. After promising not to scare (again) the preschooler playing “the dog”, I ask him/her to charge and try to “bite me”. All I do is keep my bike between us. No matter which way he tries to go around the bike, he can never reach me. The kids can easily see how to use their bike for protection. Plus, most CW’s quickly lose interest in the chase when there’s nothing to chase. Then you just slowly push your bike for a ways before getting on and riding off.
One key skill that cyclists develop is the ability to assess whether or not a CW poses a threat. After years of riding, I can do this in a flash after hearing one bark or getting one glance. This is done by instinct, but after thinking about it, I realized that I use three categories to assess a CW: sound, speed and attitude. And that is the topic of Part 2 of “Caution – Cujo Wannabe Ahead!”
Spin Home Wisdom # 10
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11) “Caution - Cujo Wannabe Ahead!” – Part 2
In “Caution – Cujo Wannabe Ahead!” – Part 1, I stated that one key skill cyclists need to develop is the ability to assess rather quickly the threat level posed by a dog. This is more instinct than sequential thought. However, I will try to explain my thought process in a sequential manner. I categorize dogs by sound, speed and attitude.
In the sound category there are three subgroups: “Woofers, Yappers, and Barkers”. One can completely ignore a Woofer. They are typically big, old, and have long fur. Bottom line – Woofers NEVER “chase” more then 2-3 steps. Pay them no attention. Yappers are simply annoying and are often penned up in the yard. If a Yapper does give chase, it’s fun to step on the gas and crush his little spirit. No matter how fast their legs pump they simply can’t keep up. Dashing their pride provides a perverse sense of satisfaction. Of course THEY may think they scared me away and return home puffed up with pride. I guess it’s a matter of perspective.
So, Woofers and Yappers are no threat. However, when one hears a Barker, one must look for the Barker to gauge his speed. There are three subgroups of Barkers: “Watchers, Lopers and Chasers”. Some Barker/Watchers just watch you go by because they’re either too old or too lazy to chase. Some Barker/Lopers will lope out toward you a ways and then morph into a Barker/Watcher.
So, Watchers and Lopers are no threat. However, if one sees that a Barker is also a Chaser, now one must quickly assess the Chaser’s attitude. There are three subgroups of Barker/Chasers: “Waggers, Snarlers and Chompers”.
Some Barker/Chasers come out and run beside you for the pure fun of it. They’re ears are up and their tails are wagging and they’re just looking for a party. They’re often friendly half grown pups. Once I had a young Barker/Chaser/Wagger run beside me for over two miles. It was a beautiful day and apparently he didn’t have anything better to do. I hope he found his way home.
On the other hand, some Barker/Chasers get seriously riled up when you encroach on their turf. They blast out toward you snarling like a storm! This begs an important question, “Is this a just a Snarler or is this a Chomper?” Here’s where careful (and quick!) discernment is necessary. In general, Barker/Chaser/Snarlers get so close and then no closer. They are content to stay a certain distance away making lots of noise and sounding really tough. If I have enough advance notice, I’ll check traffic and move to the opposite side of the road. Dogs are more comfortable chasing you in the ditch then actually coming out on the road. I’m guessing it’s a “car thing”. Anyway, with a Snarler, just keep riding (one eye ahead on the road and the other eye back on the dog) and pretty soon the encounter is just a memory.
And that leaves those Barker/Chasers who are also Chompers. I don’t like dogs in this category. If given the chance, they blow right past the respectful boundary observed by Snarlers, apparently intent on separating your foot from the rest of your body. It is very helpful to know in advance where these dogs live (Cyclists share vital information like this with each other). There used to be two B/C/Cer’s just north of Alda. I always planned my route so I passed their place with a tail wind. I’d get on the far side of the road, click into my big ring and blow by about 30 mph. If they didn’t see me as I passed by, I would always bark mockingly. They’d come storming out absolutely enraged, but far too late to chase down their prey. I always found this incredibly rewarding!
If one is surprised by a B/C/Cer, the best thing to do is stop quickly, hop off, keep the bike between you, and hope for the best. I once had one actually try to stick his head through the middle of my bike frame to bite me! That was quite exciting. However, if given enough time, even B/C/Cers realize they’ve lost their tactical advantage and retreat back to base.
Having said all of this, there is still one canine category that needs mentioned, one so terrifying that cyclists speak of it only in hushed whispers late at night while sitting around campfires. Of course, I’m talking about the Silent Stalker. You have not truly felt terror until your brain suddenly realizes the odd sound behind you is toenails scrabbling on the pavement! You quickly turn, and look straight into the crazed, bloodshot eyes of a Chaser/Chomper. He is gathering himself for one last lunge to close the final 15 feet between you! And when he sees you see him, he explodes into a vicious, snapping Snarling Stalker!
Let me tell you - the adrenaline rush in that moment is like 10 bottles of 5-Hour Energy Drink smashing through your system at the same time! This is a “change-into-a-new-pair-of-cycling-shorts” kind of experience! All you can do is pop out of your seat and peddle like a madman, screaming at the top of your lungs! I don’t recall my top speed the day I was ambushed by a Silent Stalker, but I have NO doubt that I could’ve edged out Mark Cavendish in a sprint finish at the Tour de France!
A Chaser/Chomper who silently stalks his prey without barking or snarling?? THAT kind of evil is NOT a Cujo-Wannabe! That IS Cujo!! NO cyclist wants to have this kind of harrowing, near death experience. So, here’s the best advice I can give you to avoid hearing the toenails of a Silent Stalker coming after YOU: always, and I mean ALWAYS ride with someone who’s just a little bit slower than you are. Beyond that, you’re pretty much on your own.
Spin Home Wisdom # 11
Copyright © 2011, Michael E. Reiners
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What picture do you see when you hear the word “biker”? Yup, that’s what most people see: someone straddling a motorcycle. That’s why I’m always careful to refer to myself as a cyclist. If I say, “I’m a biker” to someone who doesn’t know me, they immediately picture me on a Harley. And believe me; what I wear when I’m out riding would NOT look good on someone riding a Harley. In fact, you’d probably get beat up at the first Truck-stop you pulled into. Having said that, guys (and gals) on motorcycles are actually pretty friendly toward guys (and, I suppose, gals) on bicycles.
One key factor in bridging the “engine size” gap is understanding the fine art of waving to motorcyclists. It’s relatively simple. When you meet a biker, at just the right distance apart (don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it) slowly lower your left hand and point down to the ground with your arm out at a 45 degree angle. It’s very important to have the first two fingers pointing to the ground with the back two curled up. Keep your thumb close (but not too close) to your two fingers pointing down. Practice it several times on your next ride. Once you master this skill, about 90% of motorcyclists will wave back in the exact same way. It‘s really cool, a kind of “two wheel biker brother” sort of thing.
Personally, I get a kick out of it. So, I almost always offer a wave to see what happens. On a ride about two weeks ago on Hwy 30, I slowly gave “the wave” to four motorcycles as we met. The first and fourth returned the usual wave. However, the middle two did something I had never seen before. Instead of lowering their left hand, they raised their left foot, about 12 inches out to the side and up into the air. “What’s this?!?” I thought to myself. Are there TWO kinds of greetings in the world of motorcycles? Or could there be some entirely NEW style of wave afoot? I still don’t know what to make of it. For now, I have decided to keep waving and see if anyone else answers with the “foot salute“. But, even if they do, I am still not going to unclick a foot and return the salute. I don’t want anyone wondering if I’m passing gas or trying to urinate.
In closing, I’d like to share one of my funniest motorcycle memories. It happened several years ago on a day when seven bikers met seven cyclists outside a restaurant in the little Sand hills town of Mullen. We were on our annual Lutheran’s for Life Bike Ride. That year we rode from the SD border north of Chadron down to Alliance and then took Hwy 2 all the way to Nebraska City Sturgis , SD. Black Hills .
On this particular day, seven guys on big, loud bikes pulled up to the same restaurant at the exact same time as seven guys on little, quiet bikes. As we all “shut ‘em down and climbed off our hawgs”, we just kind of looked each other over. Then the resident comedian in our group, Jeff Bloom from Lincoln
Spin Home Wisdom # 12
Copyright © 2011, Michael E. Reiners
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